


oh, shit

by fillertexted



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Some Fluff, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6713764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fillertexted/pseuds/fillertexted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"[3:36] hi?<br/>[3:36] so im prob not the person u thought u were texting???<br/>[3:36] but like r u ok dude</p><p>Oh, shit."</p><p>aka the wrong number au no one asked for</p>
            </blockquote>





	oh, shit

He was so tired. He had been staring at a wall for the past however long, brain stuttering to a halt. He couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but he either had nightmares or his thoughts raced so much he physically itched to write them down, to share them with the world. So he did. Burr was the recipient of these rather intimate texts, but he never responded, nor talked about them when they met up. He did, however, express a polite concern when faced with Alexander’s rather alarming under eye bags, which was Burr’s way of asking if he was okay. He and Burr was a strange pair, but it worked. He knew that Burr was worried about him, but he wouldn’t do anything stupid. Probably.

He propped himself up on an elbow to glance over at the clock on his nightstand, and in blinking red characters it read ‘FUCK YOU’.

Well, it probably didn’t, but it should have. The numbers seemed blurred enough to be read as expletives, so he determined it was already past one. He wasn’t surprised.

He tried to flop back against his stiff mattress, but to no avail. All it did was send a dull ache through his back, and he groaned. He rubbed his eyes, trying to ignore it. He was still so tired. He flipped himself so he was resting on his stomach, burying his head into his pillow until he had to breathe.

 A noise from his phone disrupted him, and with it, his brain seemed to reboot, suddenly hitting him with trains of unfinished thought, which were all nonsensical, non-important things that just made him that much more restless. He slapped his hand around to try and find his phone, nearly sighing in relief when he found it. It was an iPhone 4 with admittedly many flaws, with a terrible battery and the tendency to delete contacts, but he dealt with it. It was practically his child, so he loved it anyways. He shifted until he was lying on his side so he could comfortably view it.

The noise had just been an incoming email from some website he couldn’t remember signing up for, and he quickly found the unsubscribe button. Goodbye, website. He wouldn’t miss it.

After hesitating for a moment, he clicked open his messages, finding the conversation between Burr and him. Well, between him and himself. He decided it was worth a shot opening up, hoping it would stop the flying thoughts.

 

_[3:24] Staring at a wall for hours on end is not fun. Do not recommend._

_[3:24] It’s even worse when I can’t stop thinking. I don’t want to contemplate my ultimate insignificance._

_[3:25] Or why I can’t seem to die. That’s always a big one._

_[3:25] I mean, the hurricane should have done it. Everyone was already dying left and right, but I survived._

_[3:25] I don’t know if I wanted to. If I still want to._

_[3:25] Nothing is really stopping me, right?_

_[3:26] I probably won’t do it, though. My coping methods are enough for now._

 

Alexander sighed, but was mostly satisfied. His brain had calmed enough that he didn’t feel like he was buzzing out of his skin, but he was still restless. He weakly tossed his phone somewhere on his bed and resumed staring at the wall blankly. Maybe that had been a little _too_ personal, but it was too late to change it now. Burr would just have to deal with it.

Over the past week, Alexander had been sending text after text to Burr. It had first started when Burr made the mistake of offering Alexander the option to text him whenever, and Alexander took him up on that offer. A lot. Nearly every night, in fact. He was still so tired.

He threw an arm across his eyes, hoping the darkness would, for once, be comforting and not terrifying. No such luck. He removed his arm. Looked at the wall. His eyes burned with exhaustion, but every time he would close them his eyelids felt like sandpaper. He continued to stare at the wall. His phone buzzed again. He once again blindly looked for it. Clicked it on.

                                                               

[3:36] hi?

[3:36] so im prob not the person u thought u were texting???

[3:36] but like r u ok dude

 

Oh, _shit_. That was definitely not Burr’s texting style. He was all about short and sweet, even adding a signature at the end. He really hoped Burr just had a change of heart about texting.

 

_[3:37] Is this Aaron Burr?_

[3:37] nope

[3:37] never even heard tht name b4 my dude

_[3:38] Oh. Sorry you had to read those texts, then._

_[3:38] But to answer your question, I’m probably okay._

[3:39] probably? what does tht mean??

_[3:39] I’m not in immediate danger._

[3:40] thts not really comforting??

[3:40] like r u goin to hurt urself?? bc if ur considering it dont?? please

_[3:40] I wasn’t currently planning to._

[3:41] was tht supposed to be reassuring?? bc im not reassured

[3:41] im still rlly worried abt u

_[3:42] You’re worried about a stranger?_

[3:42] i mean i dont rlly consider u a stranger anymore?? u text me a lot abt personal things so

_[3:42] I’m still sorry about that._

[3:42] no!!! dont be!! its ok!!

[3:43] but like do u wanna talk abt it

[3:43] i kno i never responded b4 today but tonight was a lil heavy dont u agree

_[3:44] I don’t want to burden you with my problems more than I already have. I guess I appreciate the concern, but really, I don’t need to talk to a person I don’t even know the name of._

[3:44] john

[3:44] laurens

[3:44] my name is john laurens

_[3:45] That doesn’t really make me want to dump all my issues on you._

[3:45] well i mean a name would b nice right

[3:45] i told u mine common curtesy suggests u tell me urs

_[3:46] There’s curtesy involved when accidentally texting the wrong person?_

[3:46] there is if theyre in a bad spot

[3:46] if u dont wanna tell me ur problems at least tell me ur name

_[3:46] My name is Alexander Hamilton._

[3:47] aight mr. ham, i think weve reached a new level in the friendship ladder

_[3:47] What?_

[3:47] we both know each others names when r u gonna meet the parents

 

Alexander snorted. Who was this guy? First he responds after a week with no reply, and then proceeds to be extremely friendly. He even seemed worried about Alexander, which was surprising. Weird.

 

_[3:48] Wow, Laurens, take me on a date first._

[3:48] r u offerin???

 

Shit, _was_ Alexander offering? He didn’t know. Sure, this guy seemed nice, but he wouldn’t continue to like Alexander when he saw just how fucked up he was. The text messages didn’t really do it justice.

 

_[3:49] Do you want it to be an offer?_

[3:49] nah not right now, maybe some point in the future tho

[3:49] i do want u to talk abt things tho??

[3:50] bc its important u talk to people abt this

[3:50] and like it seems u havent b4??? So

 

Alexander bit his lip. Here was someone offering him to talk about his problems instead of bottling most of them up. They _wanted_ to, in fact. Alexander sent a quick text.

 

_[3:51] Can I call you?_

**Author's Note:**

> aha whats up?? i honestly dont know what to write for this end note tbh
> 
> hmu on my tumblr: [fillertexted](http://fillertexted.tumblr.com)


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